I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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