We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
