wake up i wanna do it froggy style
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
A+ Viking dick
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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