his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
