can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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