She said her name was "party"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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