i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
