he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
