In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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