Pappa wants mamma naked
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i drank out of a bidet.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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