He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
