At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
