What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
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I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
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You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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