Duck Duck Cougar?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
