haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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