Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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