There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
