So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
