I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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