Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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