just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
