I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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