I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed