I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
