I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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