He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
