she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
