That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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