bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
