I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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