You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
