Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
