Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
