'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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