he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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