I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
