Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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