Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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