we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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