oh god the rape fog is back!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
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so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
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then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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