i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
how drunk are you?
Several
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
