Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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