I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
