I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
