If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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