end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
