i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
