New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
