2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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