thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
