So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
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I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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