Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
