I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
