someone threw a dead crab at me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
