no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
