I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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