I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
