Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
