He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize